It is amazing to see Oscar finally getting the wish of being in a relationship, which ultimately gets him killed. His whole life has been one big dream of being in love with the one girl. There are numerous times where he is hurt because of the false hopes he receives with women. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't find someone to love him back. You would think that he would realize that maybe there is something about him that isn't appealing for a woman to love him back. Yunior recognizes the fact that Oscar needs to change his image from the inside out. He tries to get Oscar to be more like him, someone who can get chicks and have a good time. Oscar gives up. At this moment, he realizes who he really is. He is a big guy who loves science fiction.
Why isn't it okay for Oscar to be the way he is? Why does he have to be this macho man who can score chicks? Although he does want to score chicks, he is not a Yunior. He is not the Dominican who is a womanizer, a charmer, and a sweet talker. Oscar is not the stereotypical Dominican male and because of this, he is not accepted. He doesn't have the game to get with many ladies and people will not accept the fact that he is this loser. That says something about the Latino Culture. I see the same thing in the Mexican Culture. It's not just woman that is a part of a man's life but it's his lifestyle, his toughness, and his "machoness". Oscar doesn't possess these qualities but he does know who he is. He understands what kind of guy he is and the great thing to know is that he understands that he will always be a Dominican.
Why does he want a lover so bad? His Dominican culture is the reason why he wants a lover. Oscar knows that Dominicans are to love women. When he was a boy he had two chicks, not one, but two of them. He had the pretty girl and the ugly girl. His uncle pushed him on a girl to dance with and he went with it. Oscar had the qualities of a stereotypical Dominican. He had swag, game, girls, and confidence. In a matter of a week he lost all of that. It has haunted him for the rest of his life but he still wants to possess what he once had. He wants that machismo back. Oscar just cannot physically get it back. Eventually, his desire gets him killed. One thing that dies seem like a positive is the "final letter." It does seem that he died a happy man. He finally had sex and it was the best thing he has every experienced.
Looking at this novel as a mirror, I can understand the entire machismo in Latino Culture. I was always told never to cry, don't let anyone mess with you, get as much girls as you can, and marry a beautiful lady to do all the chores for you. If you are a Latino man, you will experience this in one way or another.
Tavo, thanks for explaining some of the personality of Oscar in a way that integrated his culture and the opinions of those around him. It was hard for me to decide what "side" Yunior was on throughout the book. Was he truly trying to help Oscar or were his attempts to help his own efforts to have a roommate, win the affections of Lola, and feel good about helping the "fat kid?" I wanted Yunior to influence Oscar in positive ways, but their friendship did not seem to be based on genuine trust and concern.
ReplyDeleteI also appreciated that Oscar knows who he is as a Dominican, writer, and a lover of women and science fiction. Though some of his identity emerges throughout the book, he holds true to those he loves and is committed to them at all costs (though this commitment costs him his life).
Tavo, Great post. I like the way you understood Oscar's struggles, and coming from a similar background, it is easy to relate to. I too have experienced the nature of hyper-masculinity in Black Culture. African American men are known for being aggressive when it comes to courting women. It is taught to us to never back down from adversity, "seek and destroy", if we see something we want, we go after it full force. I think that is the norm for not only Latino Culture, Mexican Culture, but African American culture as well, basically MINORITIES in general have been conditioned to think this way! I feel you man!
ReplyDeleteTavo, thanks for sharing the ways in which this novel is a mirror for you. Your insights confirm the truths the book has to tell. Personally, this book is more of a window for me, but it makes me vicariously feel the pain of having a certain idea of masculinity thrust on you that does not suit your style. Of course in white culture there are all kinds of things a woman is supposed to be that I don't agree or fit with, either, but it seems that there is a much wider range of acceptable choices. Oscar does find a woman in the DR, but more than just finally scoring, he truly loves her and appreciates the little things--he is able to be intimate, something that requires vulnerability. He dies for this "brief, wondrous" experience, but it is something that even Yunior cannot have, because he does not have the strength to be vulnerable.
ReplyDeleteYour story about being told to find a beautiful woman to do your chores (yikes!) reminds me of a conversation between my aging parents about the remarriage of my uncle. "He needs someone to wash his sock," my dad said to my mom. My mom was not amused.