Dreaming In Cuban

What does it mean to be "dreaming in Cuban?" In class we discussed that it involves an aspiration of using our dreams to fulfill the needs of a Cuban. Their is the revolution, Celia's love for Gustavo,  or Pilar's desire to go back to Cuba. These dreams involve being apart of Cuba. When I read this novel, I tried to compare the dreams in here to my personal life. What does it mean to be "dreaming in Mexican?"

How can I be dreaming in Mexican? I haven't been to Mexico in nearly 10 years. The last time I went my cousins wanted to fight me. They didn't like me. For 10 years, I haven't had the desire to go and visit my family down in Zachatecas, Mexico. It was mostly my father's side that went to Mexico and I wasn't really close to him. When I read this novel, I thought about this. However, I feel like I am thinking about it in the wrong way. I take pride in being a Mexican from America, especially during a time where being a Mexican is depicted a an illegal.

So I guess I should be thinking, what does it mean to dreaming in "Mexican American." I see the similarities in dreaming like this like it did in Bodega Dreams and the mirror essay. My aspiration to not disappoint and make something of myself is my dreaming in Mexican American. The different generations in my family have influenced me. I took all the negative and positive and use it as a driving force to build a new path. I also recognize that my ethnicity plays a huge role in this. The brown skin says plenty about me. There is so much that goes into the skin color. The culture, values, and dreams are apart of the skin color. That is what makes it dreaming in "Mexican American" than just dreaming.

Dreams

I related to Bodega Dreams much more than I thought. Coming from a Mexican heritage, I thought that a Puerto Rican culture would be very different but there are some similarities. There are some differences like the location of Puerto Rico and where the Puerto Ricans settled in the mainland. However, they stick together much like the Mexicans that I grew up with. I rarely saw people go out and do something different from the norm in my culture. No matter what we always had a support system. If you didn't go to college you had a job in the factory with the family. If you didn't have money you had people to help you. If you didn't had food you had a table to eat at with anybody close in the family. I saw this kind of system within Bodega Dreams. Chino supported Sapo, Sapo supported Chino, Bodega supported the whole neighborhood, and Blance tried to support Chino. Mostly everybody had each others' backs.

That makes it hard for people to leave and pursue a higher education. One of the main reasons is that it is very difficult for people from a cultural group to cross into another culture. Crossing into another cultural group's boundaries can make a person uncomfortable, unwanted, and ultimately wanting to go back home. Many people in my culture do that. They cannot handle the difference and so it makes them make the decision to go back home. I saw this boundary not being crossed in Bodega Dreams. With the exception of Blanca and Chino, not many people tried to reach their potential. If the people in Spanish Harlem needed something they went to Willie Bodega. He provided a support system for the community which made it hard for them to leave. Although it wasn't a clean system, it provided plenty of breathing room for the community.

That is one of the benefits of the support system in the Spanish Harlem community. You got his back and he/she has yours. However, it does have its downfall. To be honest, I do not know it it's a downfall. It is nice to have a support system. I just would rather see people cross boundaries to see that we can be together in peace. There doesn't have to be a feeling of uncomfortableness, being unwanted, and resentment towards another culture. Chino and Blanca try to reach their potential and people recognize that. Now if we can get that recognition in the community rather than just two people, then we can eliminate some of the prejudices or stereotypes.

Looking Into The Mirror

I look into the mirror. What do I see? I don't just see a physical appearance. I see many layers that each describe a part of who I am. First, I see a tall, skinny man. There is a hairy face with bushy eyebrows. A close to almost shaved bald head. There are two popped out ears that each have its own shape. They aren't the same. I also see a smile. What I am wearing is either a v-neck shirt that is black or a long sleeve shirt. There are gym shorts on with long socks and some basketball shoes. My skin is brown and my hair is black. I look more Arabic than Mexican. That's is what my mom used to tell me and what all my friends say. It's the hair all over my face. I have on a necklace that my mother gave me. It looks like a Lord of the Rings chain. The ring on the necklace has a prayer on it. It is a special necklace. It reminds me what I am here to do on Earth and that God is always watching me. He loves me. I see a basketball in my hand. It is what I am most passionate about. I know that if I work hard, then it will pay off. I see that my time is short with basketball and hopefully my hard work will pay off soon.

When I look into the mirror I see a very special person. She is my hero, my role-model, my mentor, and most of all, the one that will love me no matter what. My mother, Anita Loredo Parral, was a single mother who raised all five of her kids. She always had to work to support us. It was too the point that we were tired of her working because we wanted her to hang out with us. However, she was a strong person and did what she needed to do in order to keep this family under a roof, keep food on the table, and keep clothes on our back. I wish she had more support from us. She has God which gets her through any obstacle. When I look into the mirror I see her doing the rosary while she sews all the luggage for work. Her hard work and strong-willed personality is in me. I am glad that she gave me that since day one.

When I look into the mirror I see the other half that was born with me on May 16, 1991. My twin sister, Corina Parral, has been with me in every struggle, fun time, and situation that involved my personal life. No matter what she was there by my side. It was hard for me to come to Goshen because I knew I was leaving my family and my twin sister. Just imagine all the positive characteristics in my personality. Now multiply that by ten and you will see who my sister is. We don't look like twins though. We have similar facial features but she is way shorter than me. Plus, she has glasses.

When I look into the mirror I see myself being the person that breaks the chain of disappointment for my mother, family, friends, and the Mexican American community. My mother was always disappointed in the decisions that my brothers and sisters made. She was disappointed at my father not being the husband she dreamed of. She was disappointed at my father for not being the dad that his kids dreamed of. My family was disappointed in him too. Many of my friends looked at each other and said they wished they would have done more with their lives. Only a few have broken the chain and did something different. The rest go on to live their lives talking about the few that have broken the chain. The Mexican American community looks upon good leaders. I hope to be the leader that the community needs. When I look into the mirror I see the person who will make a difference, big or small, in people's lives. That picture with my brother and sisters are the people that I want to not disappoint. I want to make them proud. Family is the most important thing to me and with their support I can be the person that they want me to be and need me to be.

That is what I see in the mirror.

John Olivares Espinoza

(Photo courtesy of John Olivares website and Lucero Arechiga)

The poems by John Olivares Espinoza in The Wind Shifts are geared for the hard working class of Mexican Americans. They explore different life situations that deal with the struggles and/or hard work of the Mexican American community. Each poem tells a different story but they all relate to the Chicano heritage of working to support themselves or the struggles they endure to live. Also, these poems are a mirror into John’s personal life.

In his poem “Aching Knees in Palm Springs,” it shows two working people pulling weeds all day. John is one of those two people pulling weeds and they are working with their dad. Their father owns a landscaping business and they are always on the knees working. These two boys always work with their father and you can see the hard work in them. Some quotes show how long and tiring it was to work the yard; “At the eight hour of kneeling. The weight on my knees was too much for me. For each fistful of grass, I stood up to stretch.” John continues on to talk about how this line of work doesn’t compare to the people who make much more money. His father goes on to tell him that “it’s the only way to put you through school-this oily sweat.” This is very intriguing because this is his father’s only way to support his family. He uses this to help his son finish school so he can make a better life for himself.

In “Contemporary American Hunger,” you see a different struggle. Money is an issue and John tells it right away in his first sentence; “We were the newest broke Mexicans to settle in Indio.” The poem goes on to portray John’s poor situation at a McDonalds. His second stanza shows his mother’s lack of money when she pulls out “two dull quarters, six dimes, five nickels, and three parking lot pennies.” She could only afford two cheeseburgers and she ended up saving the leftovers for later. John paints a great picture of him and his brother playing. He compares his situation to other kids playing in the ball pin. He writes “their stomachs full of Big Macs or Happy Meals.” Right after he doesn’t seem too distraught by thinking about how full they are. Rather, he says they are “happy too-better than staying at home on a Saturday eating potato tacos.” He is a kid. He doesn’t really have to worry about their situations. However, his mother does and you can see it when he writes “I only remember her fingers neatly wrapping the remaining half.”

In “I Go Dreaming, Raking Leaves,” you see how much his work at the landscaping business has effect him six years after he has held a rake. John dreams of raking an endless pile of leaves. It is engraved in his soul. Working with his father at a young boy shaped how he was and the hard work makes him dream, after six years, about leaves. “It’s been six years…and still I’m raking leaves during my sleep.” That quote says it all.

There are other poems that explore his life experiences growing up. In an interview with the Delkalb Public Library, John states a few reasons why his poems reflect who he is. John worked with his father at his landscaping business and he worked every Saturday while the other kids in school slept in and watched tv, John worked all day with his father. John says, “I’m glad I wasn’t those kids who stayed home on a Saturday watching cartoons—what would I write about?” This part of his life is an important piece to his poetry. Reading his poems, I see a side of John that shows him working really hard.

Another reason is that John wants people see the Latino side of his life. As a minority poet, John states that “it is about capturing and documenting that said minority’s experience living in America today.” I think this is very important for literature. People do need to see the inside of the Latino Culture. Latinos are a growing population but people rarely understand these people. Reading this poetry brings in a side to the Latino community that many people do not get the chance to see. These poems catch what John wants for his works. He does a great job in introducing his experience with his culture.

Overall, I felt a personal connection to John Espinoza’s poetry. While reading his works, I was seeing a mirror to my own life. His poem “ Las Cucarachas,” connected to my own experience with roaches down in south Texas. “Contemporary American Hunger,” was a mirror to my own experience where I had to pay for things in change. I remember seeing my mother pay for a gallon of milk with nothing but pennies. I remember paying for gas in nickels and dimes. Not to say that I was embarrassed about the situations, but I knew that we were living in rough times. John’s experience of working with his father at his landscaping business made a mirror for me. I remember as a young boy, having worked every Saturday doing something around the house. My dad used to wake me up and I would dread coming out of bed. I had to work though and I remember cutting grass, raking leaves, cleaning the garage, cleaning the house, and fixing things around the house. Without this experience, how could I live alone if I couldn’t take care of myself? These are a part of me and this connects with John’s poetry, as his experiences and poetry are a part of him.

The Devils Highway

This novel was a lot better than expected. The way that Urrea portrays the struggles of the immigrants really pulled me into the novel. Knowing that it was a non-fiction piece made the story ten times better than the other two novels read. The true accounts of the immigrants made me gain a better understanding of the problems of crossing the border. It felt so real to me. I could imagine everything that Urrea was saying and it made me quite sad.

These people did not know where they were being lead and that is what makes me irritated with the coyote Mendez. He said it wasn't his intention to lead them astray but the fact that he didn't let them know that they were lost just makes me mad. He should understand, as a fellow Latino, that these people want a better life. However, I understand that he is a coyote. A coyote who is a part of an organized crime to smuggle people into this country. I do not feel any empathy for Mendez when he is sent to prison. He was responsible for 26 people and he lead them to their death. The Reymundo scene had a powerful effect on me. Reymundo Jr. died and his father's reaction was terribly depressing. If I was a father who lost a son, I would have acted like Reymundo Sr. did. It made me think about my father as well. Me and my father aren't really close but this scene made me think that I should be close to him.

It is crazy to see these people go into a desert. That place is a death trap. Urrea painst a good picture of what happens to people when they go through different stages on how heat takes control of the body. I imagined several characters die because of the heat and dehydration. What a painful, ugly way to die.
Urrea talks about the novel through this interview. Also, he talks about how he considers himself as a writer of his novels. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1PeWvCrCkag&feature=related

Overall, I though this book was an important book to read. The other two novels were good but this nonfiction piece gave me a great look into the border and immigration issues. It had made an impact on me and I'm sure it has on several of my classmates.

La Frontera- The Guardians

The border is a crazy place. It is sad to see many families split up because of immigration. In Gabo's case, he loses his father to the border. He really has nobody other than Regina. Losing relatives to the border is damaging to the soul, especially when trying to come to a place where life can be lived better. I could not make a direct connection to the novel but immigration is something my family has gone through. My family never knew what would happen. They just came because it created a better life. Fortunately, my family wasn't lost and they made it safely. That was before immigration policies were strict as they are now.

Looking for Rafa would be the risk I would take as well. If my father was crossing, I would want to know his whereabouts and if he made it safely across. Unfortunately, that is not the case for Gabo. He loses his father and he takes great risks to find out what happened to him. However, losing a family member is a risk when trying to cross "La Frontera". I would hope that people who would try to cross would make it safely but that isn't the case. Gabo is in America now which gives him the opportunity to create a better life.

Gabo  is a character of faith as well. I am glad to see that through his despair, he has chosen God. He wants to become a priest and that is his way to get away from the bad that has happened. Through tough times I always find myself getting close to God. Gabo does that when he is convinced that his life has changed through christ. This was my theme. Religious identity can influence people's lives and make them make decisions based off the identity. In Gabo's case, he is willing to become a priest. Becoming a priest will be his identity as that takes control of his entire life.

9500 liberty

      I found the movie to be very interesting and saddening at the same time. I thought there was definitely hatred towards the Latino community. The sad thing about it all was that this community tried there best to defend themselves but it wasn't enough. Seeing all the children speak about their families and how the new policy would destroy them if passed, made me look inside as a person and think about who I am. Why would anybody break apart a family? We all know, as human beings, that family is one of the most important elements to a person's well being. That's what makes me sad as a Christian as well. 

        I didn't think this movie would make an impact on me like it did. This is a sensitive issue for me. I understand the struggles of immigration. However, I find it very difficult to help get rid of those struggles. In the documentary, the immigrant families used their children to stand up and speak up to those in favor of the new policy. This was a touching scene but it isn't enough to dismiss the policy. There needs to be facts, evidence, and support to show that the immigrant community benefited the town of Manasas. This isn't a fair way to handle this situation but it is the only way, I feel, that it will work. I can say the same for the people who were in favor of the new policy. The bill was based off ignorance, fear, and hatred towards a group of people. Little facts were put into the policy. The only one I can think of is the fact that these people are criminals only because they are illegal. 

  

        The movie was touching for me and it's purpose looks to change the minds and hearts of those against immigration, or at least that is what I took from it. However, the problem continues to grow all around the country. There seems to be more laws passed like the one in this town from the documentary. It is very sad to see this happening. My only question is how can this not be some sort of racism or racial profiling?